Science says that the proof is in the pudding (it really does, google it). However, if you share that pudding, the proof is actually in the smiles of those who share it with you, irrespective if the pudding tastes good or if the person who is eating it suffocates from an anaphylactic fit.
Kindness is more than just an expression of human emotion, it is now an essential life tool. Where previously being kind seemed just like the done thing do to, it is now a scientific phenomenon. Scientific research show us that kindness allows people to achieve optimum health, wellbeing and happiness. Scientists have revealed that being kind to people boosts the immune system, improves physical and emotional wellbeing and stimulates the brain. Incredibly, being kind not just one dimensional, as those who benefit from your generosity also gain. People who witness acts of kindness are also inspired to perform acts of kindness, which proves that like herpes, kindness is contagious and should not always be revealed when you first meet someone.
Being kind is now also good for business. Corporate arsehole scumbags are now having kindness measures inserted up their key performance indicators. Blown away by the scientific evidence, it seems that taking time out of each day to be kind is a great way to improve the bottom line (especially if you have fat arse).
However, bugger the science (or break it's heart with a harsh SMS, I leave it upto you). I don't need an egg head telling me being kind is five miles down the road of goodness. I trust what I see people say & I listen to what they do. Yesterday I did my own "experiment" and spent the morning down at my local café buying ten people their morning coffees. Here is my pudding.
“I was having such a terrible morning. I could not decide which village I needed to have slaughtered and then I lost my coffee loyalty card, I was a due a free one today. Your kindness has spared the lives of a 1000 people.” Father of two, Mummar Gaddafi.
“Every morning I perm my hair and then listen to the cries of my people as they starve slowly to death. This is my morning routine. But a free coffee beats that hands down. Thanks, you did what the cries of starving children could not do, put a smile on my face.” - Unemployed Actor, Kim Jong il
“A free coffee taste so much better than one made in abomination of a same sex marriage. I thought you were kidding when you said it was free. I’m not used to charitable acts of kindness.” Baby Eater, The Rev Fred Nile.
“For me? Thanks. What a nice surprise. The grey clouds were bringing me down and not even strangling Ewoks was making me feel better. I think I’ll go out and do something nice.” Executive Assistant, Darth Vader.
“I don’t usually drink coffee, it gets up my nose. Can I have an immortal soul instead? Just kidding. Nagini, down.” Bank Manager, Lord Voldemort
“A free coffee? Why thanks. Training children death squads tires me out. I need a strong caffinee hit in the morning. I might take the day off.” Bad Motherfucker, Thomas Lubanga
“A free coffee is the bomb, thanks. At 5pm, don’t be anywhere near….” Part time office worker, Anwar al-Awlaki
“Nobody has ever been kind to me. Is this a human trick? I’m feeling something I’ve never felt before, is this what an erection feels like?” Bank Teller, Megatron
“I was suspicious at first because there’s always strings attached, but this is truly a free coffee. I feel really good. Your family will be safe.” Elvis Presley Impersonator, Robert Mugabe.
“Thanks buddy, I didn’t expect a coffee! I spent my last dollar on a condom. I didn’t mean too, but I was horny as hell and the chick I was with was wetter than a Bangladeshi monsoon.” Call Centre Manager, Pope Benedict.











No comments:
Post a Comment